Should there be 10 Best Picture Nominees?

For an 11-year period between 1933 and 1943, the Academy honored 10 nominees each year in the coveted “Best Picture” category.  This list was cut in half beginning in ’44 and remained so until last year when they unexpectedly announced that they would once again inflate the principle group to a list of 10.

The reasons were obvious.  Viewership of their annual award ceremony had been steadily declining for years and but for an odd spike here or there those numbers had been moving in the wrong direction for two decades.  By expanding the Best Picture list they were more than doubling the chances that a random potential viewer would be a big fan of one of the nominees.

I say “more than” doubled because as anyone who follows the Oscars know, it is only a rare year in which the most popular film with audiences is also the most popular with critics and academy types.  In 2008 The Dark Knight probably had more fans than Slumdog Millionaire, There Will be Blood, Milk, Frost/Nixon and the 6-hour Brad Pitt Movie combined.  Batman’s exclusion from any significant award category doubtless cost the televised broadcast a huge percentage of potential eyeballs.

The solution is practical if not elegant.  By expanding the list to 10, they are able include the populist crap that people have actually seen.  They still don’t stand a snowball’s chance of winning but you can’t know for sure until you’ve watched all the way to the end of their long, dry, witless presentation.

If you’d asked me this time last year (or had I been blogging this time last year since you didn’t exactly ask me this time), I’d have told you I disagreed with the decision.  Usually, artistic decisions that are made to make the masses happy are bad ones and the slate of nominees for 2009 supported this trend.  The point was to find a way to include pin-head-plot movies like Avatar, which probably wouldn’t have made it on the list of five.  But they didn’t just expand to 6.  They had to find 4 more movies to force fit in.

This left nonsense like District 9, Up and The Blind Side standing side by side with works of art the likes of Inglorious Basterds, Hurt Locker  and Precious.  It seemed to me that while they may succeed at expanding their potential audience, they did so by diluting the very meaning of being a “Best Picture Nominee”.  What did that claim really mean if they were also willing to give it to Avatar?  I mean, the picture that was fun, granted, but also felt at times like a two-hour dramatic segue between two levels in a video game.

And Up?  I’ll allow that it was a heart-warming movie with surprisingly human underpinnings, but Best Picture?  And District 9?!  This is the kind of decision that justifies the existence of the interrobang.  A Serious Man was alright, but it still seemed like a stretch.  It was as though the academy members were desperately reaching for something to fill the slot and someone uttered “Coen Brothers do anything this year?”

I was quite vociferous in my opposition to this move leading up to the ceremonies.  Some attempted to allay my fears that the Oscars were turning into the Golden Globes by pointing out that it wasn’t as though something like District 9 or Avatar was actually going to win.  Heck, they don’t even let good science fiction like 2001 and Blade Runner win Best Picture awards.  As long as the winner is a deserving film, they would argue, what does it matter if a few crappy flicks are left on the pile?

This offered only a shred of comfort, as I am reminded that there are plenty of legendary films whose only real acclaim was to be nominated for this prestigious award.  Raging Bull, It’s a Wonderful Life, The Maltese Falcon, Shawshank Redemption, The Pride of the Yankees, 12 Angry Men, Apocalypse Now and Citizen-freaking-Kane are now being categorized alongside District 9 and Up in the Air.

So I swallowed back my trepidation and I watched the presentations.  They were funnier than they’d been in a decade or more and here and there the right people won the right award.  As we’d all predicted, none of the “by popular demand” movies won Best Picture and they finally got around to giving a Best Director Oscar to somebody without a penis.  All in all the good outweighed the bad.  I still disagreed with the decision, but it certainly hadn’t altered the alignment of the planets or caused a wormhole to open.

Now fast forward to 2011.  The list of nominees is curiously lacking an “Avatar”.  Sure, Inception is there to fill the populist role, but that was actually a really good movie with some challenging originality and a brilliant script.  It probably would have made the short list of 5 nominees.

In addition to that, there are three legitimate contenders to win.  True Grit, The King’s Speech and Black Swan are all deserving titles according to the reviewers in the know.  Toy Story 3 is clearly one that would not have made the cut 2 years ago, but it was still a spectacularly fun movie that is more deserving of the recognition than the token cartoon movie of a year ago.

Social Network was a surprisingly engaging and memorable movie and likely would have been left off of a five-nominee list.  The same might be true of The Fighter and 127 Hours.  While I doubt that any of these movies have a chance of winning the award, the nominations have often been used quite adeptly to draw attention to fine films that were largely overlooked in theaters.  This is a worthwhile goal and one that probably would not have been possible this year without the expanded field.

I’m perfectly willing to admit it when I’m wrong and I was vocally and consistently incorrect on this one.  The first year they did it was somewhat bumbling but few things go smoothly right out of the gate.  The fact is that Hollywood simply didn’t have time to catch up with the Academy.  This year they knew that there would be 10 Best Picture nominees so the major studios actually made more good movies.

Now, before I hang too large a point on that premise, I should admit that there have always been fluctuations in the overall quality of films from year to year.  There are good years when movies like Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption and Quiz Show all lose and there are bad years when Crash takes best picture.  It’s hard to draw a conclusion from a sample size of two, but I think the plethora of quality and cerebral movies this year is a strong indicator that increasing the list just made Hollywood work harder.

Consider that it is commonplace for a studio to hold a film until the following year is there is a similar film in contention for Best Picture.  The execs tend to know when they have a seriously good movie in their hands and they take care to release it late in the year so that it will still be fresh on Academy voters’ minds when it comes time to pick the winner.

By allowing so many more nominees it takes a lot of the pressure off of these studios to hold on to a brilliant movie until it has weaker Oscar competition.  It also forces the studios to include a larger swath of artistic films amidst their typical drivel.  If 2010 was any indicator, one can expect to see a general increase in quality pictures as Hollywood gets used to the larger list of nominees.

Now if we could only find a way to get them to bring Billy Crystal back to host it…

Aaron Davies

www.blognoscor.blogspot.com

7 Reasons Teenage Girls Shouldn't Date Vampires

Judging by the thrust of contemporary literature the nation is undergoing a radical and potentially dangerous social change.  The rising pervasiveness of American teenagers dating vampires has not been considered worthy of coverage in the mainstream media.  By drawing attention to it I risk being labeled a Nasfaratist, but I think it’s important that we’re able to look at the real world consequences of America’s daughters dating these accursed, bloodthirsty abominations.

I urge you to pass this useful list along to any teenage girls that you fear might be in danger of succumbing to the courtship of the damned.  You may be the only thing that stands between her and the undead.

And to all those teenagers in trouble that this list has been forwarded to, I urge you to read through these items with an open mind.  I know that vampires are all the rage at the moment and their mysterious ways can be alluring, but it is vital that you understand the potential dangers that you face.

 #1) They’re F@#& ing Vampires 

If I told you about an antelope friend of mine that was dating a lion, you would probably predict trouble down the road.  Movies, TV shows and books that make Denny’s menus look like literature will have you believing that vampires are sexy.  They often portray the vampire as the victim, robbed of their mercy and cursed to take human life and drink blood.

Now, I’m not a vampire so I can’t say that stereotype isn’t true.  I know that once in a blue moon I spare a thought for the poor weasel that gave his life so that I could get my McNuggets, but that doesn’t stop me from eating them.  I’m sure there is a vampire equivalent of a vegetarian, one hyper sensitive that really doesn’t like killing people, but that would be more like dating a vegetarian than dating a vampire.

Teenage girls already have enough things to worry about on a first date.  Being desanguinated shouldn’t have to be one of them.

 #2) They're Usually Racists 

Remember that just because a vampire looks to be the same age as you, odds are that they are older than your grandparents.  I think that we can all agree that old people have a tendency to get stuck in their ways and the ways of a hundred or more years ago were pretty darned racist.

Despite how inherently bigoted this statement sounds, I think it is safe to say that most vampires are racist on a deep level.  Despite the changes of the society around them, their relative isolation would probably shield them from the greater impetus that led to our more liberal modern views on ethnicity.

It’s important to note that vampires come from all over the world as well.  Odds are good that they will be racist in ways that don’t make sense to you at all.  The result is that you are hit with the double whammy of embarrassment.  At the same time that you’re slinking away from his bigoted tirade your also left wondering how the hell he knew that guy was Armenian.

 #3) Late Afternoon Life is Under Rated 

People are always talking about the nightlife.  I’m not going to try to convince anyone that clubs, raves, parties and bars aren’t fun but I think we all know that they can’t form the backbone of a serious long-term relationship.

Sure, you can take your vampire boyfriend to the movies, but can you take him to the beach?  Do you like picnics?  Hope you don’t mind hiking in moonlight.  Do you like amusement parks?  Hope you don’t mind enjoying them two hours at a time.  Do you like to take trips with your lover?  Hope you understand that the TSA frowns on checking coffins as baggage.

 #4) Vampires are Bums 

I should preempt the charges of Draculism by allowing that I don’t blame vampires for their chronic unemployment.  It’s hard to get a job when you explode in sunlight and don’t have proper ID.  Anything that requires a college education beyond DeVry is pretty much out of the question as is any job that requires a blood test of new employees.

Vampires have a lower cost of living than humans but they still have expenses.  Rent isn’t cheaper just because you don’t use the house in the daytime.  That’s assuming that your new vampire boyfriend isn’t homeless or living in a crypt, of course.  New clothes, utilities, dental work… the money has to come from somewhere and your new boyfriend is probably hitting his glass ceiling on overnight drive through.

#5) Vampires are Just Looking for One Thing

Not to put this indelicately, but if a vampire isn’t after you to suck your blood, there’s only one other thing that could be on his mind.  He’s probably at least a century old and not to insult your maturity girls, but there’s nothing coming out of your mouth that he hasn’t heard before.  You’re not providing him any meaningful companionship because it’s impossible that either of you share significant common interests.

This isn’t anything wrong with you and it isn’t anything wrong with him.  It’s the same reason that you don’t see twenty-year-old women marrying seventy-year-old men unless they’re really wealthy.  They just don’t have anything in common.

So if the vampire isn’t looking for companionship and he isn’t looking for sustenance, just ask yourself what he is looking for and act accordingly.

 #6) All His Friends Would be Emo 

You’ve probably already noticed that when you date somebody you end up spending an awful lot of time with their friends.  It’s almost like you’re dating the friends as well.  Now, if this is true of humans, it is all the more so true of vampires.  Odds are that most of the time you spend together will be the time that your friends usually spend sleeping.  This means that if you’re hanging out with friends it will most often be his friends.

And what kind of friends do vampires have?  Other vampires, goth chicks and emo kids.  Now, I’m not going to disparage emo kids because I couldn’t possibly do a better job of it than they do themselves, but ask yourself how much time you want to spend hanging out with people that cut themselves recreationally and perpetually look down.

And of course, that’s assuming that his friends aren’t vampires that lack the critical affection that he has for you and eat you.

 #7) You’re Going to Break Up Eventually 

The whole reason that we date is to get to know somebody and see if we want to spend more of our time with them.  It’s like an extended job interview for companionship.  We all go into relationships knowing that they’re probably not going to end with a “happily ever after” and but for the aforementioned emo kids, we accept that.

But I’m sure most girls know that there are some boyfriends who just don’t get the message when things are over.  All too many girls are familiar with the clingy, obsessive ex-boyfriend who actively ignores the vigorous hints and restraining orders you send out to tell him that the relationship is over.

Now imagine that he’s a bloodsucking vampire.

Aaron Davies

www.blognoscor.blogspot.com

PS No penguins were harmed in the writing of this blog.  I pretty much beat the crap out of every other species you can think of.